When you’ve got a boyfriend, Valentine’s Day should be a holiday to spread love, exchange candy hearts, and a good excuse to watch chick flicks. But according to a recent Facebook study, the days and weeks leading up to V-day is actually a common time for break-ups to occur. Yikes! So what’s the deal? Well, Life2PointOh talked to Jane Atkinson, author of The Frog Whisperer: A 3-Step Approach to Finding Lasting Love, to get the deets. “There’s nothing like Valentine’s Day to push a relationship to the brink,” Atkinson explains. “While it’s not the end of the world–getting dumped–being prepared can help save you some time and heartache.” Below, Atkinson shares seven signs to see if your guy is thinking about doing the dreaded dumping deed.
1. “He calls less. Normally he calls when he says he’s going to, but all of a sudden, he’s gotten more flaky. And calls are getting far less frequent.”
2. “He’s breaking dates. It’s normal for stuff to come up and people need to break a date. But when he’s blowing you off with more frequency, it’s time to take notice.”
3. “He texts you less. In the beginning you’d text each other several times a day, but lately your phone is eerily quiet.”
4. “He looks at you differently. I remember near the end of a 4-year relationship, my boyfriend didn’t look at me with the same adoring eyes as he once did. I ended the relationship when he decided to purchase a house without factoring me in! (Say what?!)”
5. “He’s non-committal. If the relationship isn’t moving forward, it may be a sign it’s coming to an end. If you’ve been dating for years and haven’t talked about shacking up or marriage, it may be stalled out.”
6. “He’s excluding you from plans. If you see him making plans that don’t include you, big life plans (like buying a house!) or small ones (like dinner plans with friends), you may be single again soon.”
7. “He sleeps over less. When you are growing apart, sex is often the first casualty. Relationships often slow down in the bedroom over time, so there’s not always a need for concern. But coupled with the other signs, it might mean you are headed for Splitsville.”
But these signs do come with a warning to not turn instantly paranoid and start over-analyzing your relationship. “When you see these signs, it doesn’t mean you should resort to grovelling or clinginess–that will only speed up your demise,” she says. “If you don’t want to confront the situation, the best advice I can give you is to turn your attention inward and focus on feeling happy and fabulous. When he sees that you have a full life without him, it may just bring him around. And if not, there’s plenty more where he came from. Next!”
Since breakups can totally blow (especially when you thought Cupid was on your side), Atkinson does have tips on how to survive. “Focus on asking yourself the right questions,” she advises. “Rather than saying, ‘Why didn’t he love me?’, ask yourself, ‘What’s next for me? How can I make myself happy right now? How will I attract someone who is perfect for me next time?’ Sinking into victim mode will only make the process feel longer. The faster we work on healing and feeling great, the better!”
